Photo 23 Apr 311 notes "I ill go pretend I’m Steven Tyler at a big Aerosmith show—except naked and sporting two ginormous, plastic filled milk cannons."

"I ill go pretend I’m Steven Tyler at a big Aerosmith show—except naked and sporting two ginormous, plastic filled milk cannons."

Photo 23 Apr 59 notes "We’re old and dumpy are shouldn’t be Doing this!"

"We’re old and dumpy are shouldn’t be Doing this!"

Photo 23 Apr 414 notes Don’t eat those!  You don’t know where they’ve been.  Probably the ground at some point.  Then maybe a florists shop.  Oh fuck it.  Eat ‘em.

Don’t eat those! You don’t know where they’ve been. Probably the ground at some point. Then maybe a florists shop. Oh fuck it. Eat ‘em.

(Source: missjennettek)

Photo 23 Apr 232 notes "Guys. We’re gonna have to stop.  That last big bump back there, I’m pretty sure, broke my vagina.  Like, it’s all kinds of fucked up—swelling, intense pain and it’s making a weird high pitched squeal like a dying squirrel."

"Guys. We’re gonna have to stop. That last big bump back there, I’m pretty sure, broke my vagina. Like, it’s all kinds of fucked up—swelling, intense pain and it’s making a weird high pitched squeal like a dying squirrel."

Photo 23 Apr 177 notes Stoya ready to ride a jet.  And by “jet” I mean, meatsword and by “ride” I mean pummel that sack.

Stoya ready to ride a jet. And by “jet” I mean, meatsword and by “ride” I mean pummel that sack.

Video 23 Apr 6,327 notes

"It’s like putting a toddler’s arm in your face. Oh! And one in the butthole too! Oh my. Now go easy…ok…double pen iteration with black bowling pins. Guys…this really. I’m not too into… God, I hate my life. Just smile through the pain…smile though the horror."

(Source: analandcum)

Photo 23 Apr 77 notes Fun fact: if you were to break that inside her, the mercury would poison her blood stream and send her into cardiac arrest.  Or you could use the broken shards to stab her to death.

Fun fact: if you were to break that inside her, the mercury would poison her blood stream and send her into cardiac arrest. Or you could use the broken shards to stab her to death.

(Source: thickchicksnjunk)

Video 23 Apr 17 notes

oh my god! We get it, you fucking horrible actress, it’s big.

Photo 23 Apr 205 notes "Mmmmm, old mayonnaise.  Maybe next time we could try it with your jizz."

"Mmmmm, old mayonnaise. Maybe next time we could try it with your jizz."

(Source: blondepornpics)

Photo 23 Apr 94 notes "Ok, haha.  The nudie activity has been just peachy.  Now where’s the goddamn coke?"

"Ok, haha. The nudie activity has been just peachy. Now where’s the goddamn coke?"

(Source: pure-nude)


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