Photo 30 Sep 148 notes "I made these pants from hippie curtains.  And the curtains were made from old bed sheets, which were stitched together with the carcasses of murdered muppets.  Recycling is killing our muppets.  But hey!  Check out these little perky numbers."

"I made these pants from hippie curtains. And the curtains were made from old bed sheets, which were stitched together with the carcasses of murdered muppets. Recycling is killing our muppets. But hey! Check out these little perky numbers."

(Source: ittiebittietittiecommittee)

Photo 30 Sep 4,171 notes "This is hot and all but I feel like I’m losing a lot of blood.  Are the leaches supposed to do that?  Oh.  They are.  Ok.  So what about the ones that slimed up into my vagina?  Those are cool too?"

"This is hot and all but I feel like I’m losing a lot of blood. Are the leaches supposed to do that? Oh. They are. Ok. So what about the ones that slimed up into my vagina? Those are cool too?"

(Source: analeta)

Photo 30 Sep 1,089 notes "Carl’s Jr. Always make me poop myself.  I had to throw my pants away at a gas station bathroom.  Looked like a goddamn Jackson Pollock in my underpants.   So, for the rest of the day I’ve gotta drive around with my clam all hanging out.  But god, the food is good."

"Carl’s Jr. Always make me poop myself. I had to throw my pants away at a gas station bathroom. Looked like a goddamn Jackson Pollock in my underpants. So, for the rest of the day I’ve gotta drive around with my clam all hanging out. But god, the food is good."

Photo 30 Sep 1,148 notes Too bad about the one gimpy hand, though.

Too bad about the one gimpy hand, though.

(Source: thehy3na)

Photo 29 Sep 105 notes "What’s that?  DON’T kill her?  Oh, I see.  I must have misread the add."

"What’s that? DON’T kill her? Oh, I see. I must have misread the add."

Photo 29 Sep 50,035 notes What a festive and creative way to celebrate the systematic slaughter of an indigenous people.

What a festive and creative way to celebrate the systematic slaughter of an indigenous people.

Video 29 Sep 5,721 notes

"Ya know…the penis/vag thing just isn’t working. Let me just…shove my hand in there so I can jerk it a bit. I’m not saying your vagina is big…but I’m pretty sure I’ve parked my car in a smaller garage."

Photo 29 Sep 1 note "No!  Good god!  That’s just…Jesus.  It’s a clothespin.  I was going to hang up wet clothes with it.  God damn.  How could you even think that?"

"No! Good god! That’s just…Jesus. It’s a clothespin. I was going to hang up wet clothes with it. God damn. How could you even think that?"

via Intensity.
Photo 28 Sep 332 notes "I feel like I’m forgetting something.  Hmmm.  Shit!  I left my phone in the car!"

"I feel like I’m forgetting something. Hmmm. Shit! I left my phone in the car!"

Photo 28 Sep 102 notes Sweet phone, brah.

Sweet phone, brah.


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